This is a guest post by Martine De Luna
I am a recovering supermom. And by “recovering,” I mean that I was, for a time, the kind of mom who had it together: I was working from home, doing work that I actually enjoy. I managed the household like clockwork, which meant there was less stress on both my husband and me to ensure things like the laundry, the cleaning, and the dishes were done daily. I was pretty much rocking it as a blogger, too, able to go to the events that pleased me. I was even doing a pretty good job of starting my son off homeschooling.
Then, our second baby arrived this January 31st. And right after I scooped her into my arms moments after she’d been gently birthed, I would begin to realize that my streak for “supermomhood” would come to a screeching halt. I can’t remember when exactly, for sure. All I know is that in the last four months, I’ve been eating more often at my mom’s or my in laws, or getting take out and eating out more than ever, because I am so damn tired from 3-hour sleeps, round the clock breastfeeding, and keeping house while keeping a job.
I suppose it’s a good thing that I’ve had to slow down and not hustle as much as I was used to, pre-baby. It gave me time to sit down and read an advance copy of Lose The Cape: Realities from Busy Modern Moms and Strategies to Survive by Alexa Bigwarfe and Kerry Rivera. Basically, it is a book written by non-supermoms like me, who’ve gone through (and are still going through!) the craziness that is modern motherhood. But perhaps the most blissful thing about this book is that (1) it’s an easy read, and (2) whoever is reading it still, well, feels super, even if they haven’t lived up to Baby-Center-What-to-Expect-Dr.-Sears levels of parenting.
Lose the Cape reads like a book that feels a bit like a blog. It’s all real, simple, and straight to the point. Everything from being a new mom, managing the home, family routines, meal planning, marriage and sex (yes!) to “me time,” there is a little nugget of encouragement and practical application on each page.
One of my favorite parts of the book is its component on spouses and taking care of that relationship. This is something I’m dead serious about, especially when some mommy tendencies lean towards being too-child-centric that the husbands are forgotten! Alexa and Kerry offer a refreshing perspective on realistic romance and how to deal with sex, even if you don’t feel like you have a supermodel figure. Because seriously, I don’t look like I did on my wedding day, but I do believe my husband and I are still madly in love, and we try to work on it. Lose the Cape just validates that dates with the baby tagging along and movie nights cuddled in front of the TV are just as special as a candlelit dinner out on town (which, of course, we should make time for now and then… but then again, there’s no pressure!)
Perhaps the most poignant parts of this book are the authors themselves. Unlike some books that are verbose or filled with too many checklists and other bells and whistles, Lose the Cape reads like a couple of mom girlfriends who’ve got your back, who are an IM away, who will pour you a glass of wine or pass you the coffee when you feel like pulling your already falling hair out because your five year old takes forever to eat and your four-month-old refuses to be anything but carried like a baby ‘roo.
I love that I didn’t get annoyed or unsure about myself as a mom while reading through the chapters. This is why I say it reads sort of like a blog, because Alexa and Kerry share experiences from real moms, the kind I read about when I’m on my daily blog rounds and social media scrolls. It feels much like a manual or guidebook to a sisterhood that’s connected to each other, no matter where one or the other is in their journey through motherhood.
I’ve not felt the urge to put my supermom cape back on. It’s more fun being a blissful mom, knowing that I can relax and enjoy my family, eat ake-out and and go on sofa movie dates for now… and it’s OK.
I still do the work that I love, from home and on a flexible schedule, but there’s even less time now to get everything done… and it’s OK.
Our house is more often a mess than it is an Instagrammable vignette, … and it’s OK (which means that if I post a photo of it on Instagram, I’m very happy with myself for cleaning up!).
I’ve been able to cook more now that the baby is older, but if I have to resort to buying food or rushing over the food court… it’s OK.
Superheroes, after all, are typically alone.
I’d rather be in the company of fellow moms who like to help and be helped. Wouldn’t you?
Originally on Make it Blissful.